An open grave
by maddiethevampire
Summary: This little one-shot takes place about 6 months before the series begins, and explains a little bit more of Integra's childhood. Slight AU with an OC who's dead. Slight AxI if squint and turn your head, but mostly a friendship fic. Better summary inside.


I've often asked myself how the hell Bovanchi managed to implant fake memories of Integra having a sister into her head. I've come to the conclusion that she didn't, and that when Integra said she had never had a sister, she meant that she had never had a _Hellsing_ sister. The memories were already there- just altered to fit 'Laura's purposes' I am also fairly certain that Arthur didn't just drop dead- I think that maybe Richard poisoned him? I'll suggest that in this story, but it's not that important.

Here's where things get AU: Amanda is Integra's older half-sister through Integra's biological mother. Arthur took her in shortly before his death after sensing Integra's loneliness and hoping that Amanda would be good for her. Amanda was roughly 3 years older than here, so they were close in age. They became good friends, and Amanda eventually became an elite agent when Integra ran the organization. Then, tragedy struck, and Amanda was killed. Alucard naturally avenged her (both at Integra's will and his own), but it left a gaping hole in Integra's heart. Her death is part of the reason Integra doesn't openly express emotion- the loss forced her to toughen up even more so than her job already required. I like to think some event made Integra into such a different character from her childhood self.

To give you a good time frame, Amanda was killed in a vampire raid about four and a half years before Seras joined Hellsing. This one shot takes place about 6 months before Seras arrives at Hellsing. This is slight AxI, I suppose, because Alucard is there for moral support. I ship them-is it obvious? Lol. Another warning- Integra and Alucard may seem a little OOC-ish, but they are in mourning, and it is a fluff FANFIC.

With that in mind, I do not own Hellsing, and never will.

Enjoy!

SIR INTEGRA HELLSING stood half a dozen miles away from her headquarters, smoking a cigar and letting the wind brush through her bleach blond hair. The sun was peeking through the clouds on a bright, sky blue day, and birds called out. The air was warm, but moved quickly, circulating around her in the very sweetest manor. It was mid- April, and all one had to do to tell was look around.

Her father, Arthur Hellsing, would have said that this was the kind of day that drove the monsters further underground, cowering deeper into their coffins. Indeed, usually, on a day like today, her demonic guardian, Alucard, would have pleaded with her, begging to remain in his coffin, either asleep or dead, depending on which story you believed. But today's mid-April day had the former king of vampires standing at his master's side, holding a bouquet of both white and red roses in his gloved fingers.

It was amazing, Integra thought, how such a place could make her feel so whole, and yet so broken at the same time. For looking down the sloping hill, passed the mass of white crosses that covered the grass as far as the eye could see, in the center, was a gated section containing two polished rocks. Integra had memorized the words on those polished rocks well before her 20th birthday, and yet every day, seeing those words made her heart ache each time she read them.

Taking a long draw out of her cigar, Integra took the first couple of steps down the path, barely noticing the surrounding graves of the men and women who had devoted their lives to the service of their country. Today, for the first time in exactly a year, she was not the leader of a vampire hunting organization, but a human being.

A human being that had lost her father when she was fourteen by the hand of her treacherous uncle. A human being, who had, just four years later, lost the closest thing she'd had to a family in the time since.

Integra could read the letters on both of the grave stones from ten yards away, but she continued closer. She reached up and took the cigar from her lips, smiting it to dust in her grasp and casting it aside. Alucard moved slowly behind her, not so much as thinking about taunting her the way he usually did. Integra let her guard down once every year on this day, and, for once, he wasn't about to take advantage of it.

Integra stopped five inches from the last grave, knelt and placed her fingers against the tombstone.

Amanda DeBoris

Loyal Friend, Beloved Sister

"Hey, Mandy." She said out loud. Only Alucard could hear, but Integra internally winced at how unbearably weak she sounded. Still she continued.

"I know that you don't want me here." She said, biting her lip. "I know you never really forgave me for sending you to your death. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself." She swallowed, the words becoming harder to form through the cloud of emotion. "I'm sorry. I just want you to know that. I'm sorry every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day.

She wasn't sure what she expected- maybe the ghost of Amanda to appear and tell her that all was forgiven, or to scream at her for sending her away. Maybe she had wished for a final message of love to inscribe itself in the dirt before her tombstone. Perhaps she had hoped that at the very least, a shift in the breeze could have taken place, alerting her of Amanda's presence. When nothing happened, Integra sat back on her heels, feeling the sting of Amanda's death all over again.

Without a word, Alucard, reached out and placed the flowers at the base of the gravestone, kneeling beside his master.

(Translate to Latin) "Only the greatest of loves are worth dying for." He said gently. "Only the greatest of loves are worth dying for."

"She died for me." Integra said quietly. "She would have rather died then let anything happen to me, and that's what she did."

Gently, tentatively, he placed a soft hand on her shoulder. He paused, waiting for the angry rebuke, and perhaps a slap, but Integra leaned into gesture, and relaxed against him.

"We may have had our differences," Alucard said quietly. "But not a day goes by that I don't think of her."

Integra's smiled despite herself, lifted her fingers to her lips, and pressed them against Amanda's tombstone.

"I love you Mandy."

So, what do you think? It's my first attempt at a one-shot. I'm great with constructive criticism, but no straight up hate mail please. Please review!

There was initially a little bit more of a heartfelt apology from our favorite Iron Maiden, but after reading over it a few times, I decided it put her a little too much out of character, and that Integra is already OOC-ish enough as it is in this one shot.

I also need some feedback for a longtime idea that's been building in my head for the past 5-6 years:-a multi crossover fic. See my profile and PM me, please!


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